Dear United Way Campaign committee...
Just down the hall from my office they're having the United Way Campaign Kick Off Barbecue, an event that has gone from a free dinner to a low-cost by-the-item dinner to a nominally priced all-you-can eat ($3) to one-trip through for the low low low price of $5. However, they decided to have this dinner 2 days before payday, I've been overdrawn for about a week, and what little money I DID have went to buy my daughter lunch up at her tour of WSU with her 8th-grade Spanish class.
Maybe those nurses who got a 5% retention bonus in addition to a 3% raise in addition to a nearly-yearly pay-grade adjustment can afford $5 for an overcooked hamburger, can of pop, bag of chips and a cookie. I haven't had a pay-grade adjustment for 8 years, haven't seen an increase in my pay-rate for 3 years, since I've maxed out. So, with change in my pocket, I had to make the walk of shame past the barbecue with my bag of BBQ Ranch potato chips and listen to the girl at the door beg, plead and implore people to pay $5 for a crappy styrofoam container full of guilt. My only satisfaction...more people are walking past than going in.
Sure, it would have been nice to register for the one-month of prime parking giveaway, and I hear they had a dunk-tank for the 1st-shifters to drop a director in the water (I would have just thrown directly at the director...), but I guess they couldn't find anyone for 2nd-shift to throw at. I don't doubt that the United Way does good for the people of Wichita, but the last few years our employer hasn't even bothered telling us what they DO for the people of Wichita. They hand out a pledge card and tell us what would be a good and fair amount to give, they throw a dinner party that only some can attend, and then the CEO stands up at the end of the campaign at a big shindig downtown and takes credit for the money we're donating to his campaign. Well, eff it -- I've got potato chips here getting stale on my desk...And now, back to your regularly scheduled merriment...